A New Beginning

  

"...but these stories don't mean anything when you've got no one to tell them to..."

-The Story - Brandi Carlile

  Procrastinating is something I seem to be extremely good at, at least it seems that way when it comes to this blog. When I had the idea to start my blog, I was motivated full of energy and excitement. Then somewhere along the way I lost that spark. I replaced my excitement with doubt. I couldn't stop filling my head with the thought that I just wasn't good enough or interesting enough to even be doing this. Why was I even trying to be successful at something!? It's too easy to tear myself down and see the glass as half empty. What's more disappointing, I didn't even give myself or this blog a real chance. 

  Recently I turned 30. You know how every year on your birthday you get asked the same question, "So do you feel a year older?...How does being (whatever age you turned) feel?". Every year I gave the same answer, "I feel the same." However 30 was different. Sure I felt the same physically...okay maybe my lower back hurts a little more than it did in my early 20's...but mentally something changed. I had this scary realization that yes, I am getting older. My 20's have come and gone. What have I been doing with my life for the past 10 years!? What have I even accomplished in that time? Was I genuinely proud of anything I had accomplished? It all just made me mildly depressed. 

 While in my slightly depressed state, my abandoned blog kept popping into my mind. I kept trying to push the thought of it away, because I just didn't think I could do this. I still wasn't interesting enough. I still wasn't good enough. Even now as I'm typing this on my day off, I had ALL day to start this post, but I'm only doing so now at almost 6pm...but you know what, I'm doing it. I told myself I had two options, I could continue being my own worst enemy and wallow in my ever growing doubt, or I could pick myself up and try. I chose the latter.

 I am recommitting to this blog. In it I will share with you all what I originally intended to share, my life. I still want to share my love for designing and styling, but I think it's okay to open up once in a while and have a real heart to heart, as I'm currently doing with you now. There's just something about this time of year that feels like a new beginning for me. If anything, the Fall season is my New Year. I truly have so much I want to share with you all. I'm excited but I'm not going to lie, I'm still a little scared/nervous too. I want to create something in my life that I can be sincerely proud of and I do believe this can be it. Life's a journey not a destination after all am I right? 

 I thank you for your support in this. I thank you for clicking on this post and letting me momentarily pour my heart out. As always, your support means the world. Here is to a new beginning for not only this blog, but also for myself. Here is to the story I was always meant to write.